I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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