You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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