Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
