I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
