He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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