well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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