I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I understand Curling. That high.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
