You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
