What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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