I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize