You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
