moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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