I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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