At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
