Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
