Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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