You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
