I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
