I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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