Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
