just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
