Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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