she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
