we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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