You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
