For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
