I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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