hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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