I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
