I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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