Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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