What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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