she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
