I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My life is pants optional.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
