you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
