Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize