I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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