You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
