I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
3 2 1 whiskey
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
