i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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