I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
