Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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