Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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