I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
