I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
