Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Randomize
