this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
