I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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