So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
