There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
