Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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