i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
did you just send me my own nude
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
