My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
