All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
