You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
