So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
