dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
