the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
