i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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