id be glad to
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
