So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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